Respect for intimacy

      It is a general comment that puberty is a difficult and problematic age and a time when parents and teachers of those children seem to lose their authority bases. One of these issues is the discovery of personal intimacy and, as a consequence, it is necessary an education about modesty and respect for children intimacy.

      Before they reach this age, children have to live in their family very important habits, such as knocking before entering, not wandering naked around the rooms of their home on the pretext of spontaneity, and no to be curious about other people’s business, without appreciation to individual and personal spheres.

      At puberty, boys and girls discover their intimacy, their inner space upon which they have self-discipline, and learn to know and possess themselves. But they usually fail about necessary reflection due to excessive outside noise, great attention to mobile phones and excess of activities sometimes or apathy other times. We can consider respect for intimacy in three different areas: home, clothing and talking.

      Child needs their space at home, where they can project their intimacy, tastes and necessities. The feeling of home belonging to their parents but not to them must be especially avoided. In other case they will seek outside the space they need. It is advisable each child to have their own room, that they can decorate it the way they want, being confident that nobody would dare touch, watch or change anything without their permission.

      On the subject of clothing or external appearance we think this affects today both, girls and boys. Trying to dress correctly is equivalent to protect their own bodies for themselves. But it is not always easy to achieve and sometimes you have to go against the current. For instance, it is noticeable that female body is used for advertising certain products. There use to be problems too with public swimming pools where there are not separate change and wash rooms. In such cases it is possible to request institutions in charge for solving the problems, taking into account that systematic denunciation tends to give good results.

      With regard to language, girls and boys have to consider how can safeguard their intimacy when talking to each others, family, friends or acquaintances. You cannot fall in the error of overvaluing the spontaneous and intuitive, but it is recommendable to learn and discern the appropriate people to expose your privacy in order to receive assistance and advice.

      All educators, parents and teachers, have to make an effort to understand and help for this stage of life, named puberty, is positive and empowering for those involved.

       Arturo Ramo García

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