Being and doing


Educators (parents or teachers) sometimes show more appreciation for guys for who they do than for what they are. They praise them when they get excellent grades from college and reproach them when are low. However, we must value people by their human dignity, regardless of their academic or professional achievements. A father wants his son with virtues and defects because he is his son, his dear child.

It has been said many times that the family is the place where its members are loved more for who they are (children, parents, grandparents) than what they do. Personal confidence starts primarily when a person feels accepted within the family environment.

For this reason, when we have to encourage or praise a pupil, it is preferable to stress the effort achieved (related to being) than praise him for the result obtained (related to doing). It is important that the child feels better for having improved as a person than to do, have or receive something from adults.

In general, we should not reward the child for having complied with his duty or having achieved a success in any activity but we must praise and show happiness.

A gift for good school grades is deforming because:

– First, because the child learns to behave and does homework not because it is good, but for the reward he receives, as if it was a pay. In addition, this stimulates selfishness because the child seeks his gift and does not consider the good that can make to others in the future with his work. This procedure of paying school grades with money or gifts is more oriented to train and domesticate children than educate and make them grow as people.
– Second, the child was disappointed when these awards are missing or are considered insufficient. In other words: the child will feel punished every time he does not receive the wanted rewards. The consequence for the Child is that it is not worth to study or effort.

It is preferable to praise and encourage the effort made by the child than the results. If the pupil does not receive the attention of educators when he behaves well, he will look for it behaving badly.

Arturo Ramo García.

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